confessions

i have a confession, a confession i will only tell you internets, because i know you will keep my secret.

i read a nicholas sparks book.
again.

and every time, every time, i swear up and down
that i will never read another one again.

because they are sappy, silly, and predictable.

well, i haven't learned my lesson.
yet

i picked up "the last song" because i knew
someone would drag me to the movie,

and i hate going to a movie when i haven't read the book first.

well,
i have never cried so hard in my life.
seriously.
i didn't see this ending coming (even though i should have).
and it took me by surprise.

it was midnight, and i decided to finish the last 50 pages or so,
because i wanted to not read it anymore this week.

well, about 1:00 am, i had tears running down my face.
not a "my eyes are watering because it's sad" kinda tears
but "oh my gosh i haven't cried this hard in months, i am shaking and i know my shoulders are going to be sore in the morning" kinda cry.

i would call it an ugly cry.
super ugly.

i woke up with mascara all over my eyes.
not pretty.

(yep, i forgot to take off my make up before i started reading)

remind me not to read any more of his books again.
ever.
never ever.